Relationships are about relating
Relationships are about relating, to ourselves and to another. Every relationship carries a dynamic of give and take that helps maintain balance. When that balance shifts, couples can spend a great deal of energy trying to restore connection, often without understanding what is really at play.
Our earliest experience of relationship is with our parents, and this first bond shapes how we later relate as adults. Unconsciously, we can seek in a partner what was unresolved in childhood. When this happens, relationships can feel confusing, charged, or repetitive, even when there is love present.
Stages of relationship
Every couple moves through different stages and phases. The transitions between these stages are often the most challenging. Add unresolved parental dynamics into the mix, and a relationship can begin to carry expectations or emotional weight that do not belong to the present partnership.
Couples Constellations help reveal these hidden dynamics so they can be seen, acknowledged and released. When this happens, couples often experience a profound shift in how they relate to each other.
Love, partnership and family of origin
Bert Hellinger observed that love between partners requires a movement away from our earliest attachments to our parents. When these attachments remain unresolved, they can limit our ability to fully step into adult partnership and personal power.
When unfinished business with parents or previous partners is acknowledged in a constellation, individuals often find they are freer to love, choose and relate in the present.
"Our family had fallen apart... Our daughter, whom we wrongly assumed was the cause of all the trauma in the family is addicted to alcohol and drugs and suffers major depression. I was consumed with anger, my son had moved away geographically with little contact and my husband had shut off emotionally. Following almost three decades of struggling, during which we consulted a number of psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors, I met Edwina who introduced me to Family Constellations. After our first session with Edwina, my husband and I realised that the cause of our suffering went back further than just our daughter's addiction and we managed to clear some past trauma dating back to our parents and grandparents.
After almost thirty years our daughter has decided to seek rehabilitation. One session with Edwina has set her on a path to change. My husband is now more emotionally open towards me and our children and my anger has subsided. I accept that this is a gradual process but the results have been evident. Edwina is passionate about helping people and I highly recommend a constellation with her".
S.N (Vic)
How can a couples work help your children
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Children feel safest when they experience their parents as a couple, even when parents are no longer together. When conflict, separation, or unresolved emotions exist between parents, children can carry this tension in their own behaviour or wellbeing.
If one parent is excluded or spoken about negatively, children may develop unconscious loyalties that affect their future relationships. In constellation work, these dynamics can be gently explored and brought back into balance.
For families with children under 18, sessions can be done on behalf of the child to explore patterns that may be influencing them.
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"I attended a Family Constellation workshop with Edwina. I wasn't really sure what it was all about, but I felt drawn to the work. I had a constellation done for my relationship with my daughter who was having a lot of mental health challenges and I was really struggling as a parent. The constellation was a revelation about how my daughter experienced life and our relationship. It allowed us to put things in the right order. As a result, I could see within two weeks a significant change in my daughter's wellbeing and in our relationship. It's been a couple of months since I did the constellation and things have continued to improve. I truly believe in the power of this work and am keen to have another Family Constellation done for other issues."
A.H
Orders of love
In family systems there is an order that supports balance. The couple relationship comes first, and from that relationship children are born. When the couple relationship is honoured, children feel held and supported.
Difficulties in partnership often stem from unfinished relationships with parents or previous partners. Constellation work helps bring these dynamics into awareness so new choices can become possible.
LBGTIQA + all inclusive couples
Couples Constellations are inclusive of all relationship structures. In same-sex partnerships, the couple relationship forms the primary system. If children are part of the family, the contributions of donors, surrogates or third parties are acknowledged and honoured within the system.
When everyone who contributed to the creation of a child is recognised, the family system can settle and the child is less likely to carry unconscious patterns of exclusion.
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"My partner and I recently had a relationship constellation with Edwina to help break a frustrating pattern of conflict that had been playing out between us. We uncovered that I had been holding onto suppressed grief and a fear of abandonment that was locking me into repeated negative behaviours that were affecting my relationship.
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My mother passed away when I was fifteen. This left a gaping wound in our family that has never been spoken about, let alone addressed in any meaningful way. That was until last week. I had my first family constellation with Edwina and uncovered the trauma of my mother's passing that had been suppressed for the past 35 years. When I was physically held by the person representing my mother I sobbed and sobbed. This came as both a shock and a relief to me. I honestly thought I had grieved her passing but it was such a relief to finally feel the real grief that I had held in all this time. Going through this work was enlightening and empowering. I didn't understand the extent to which the suppressed grief was affecting my relationship. Consequently, my self-confidence and self-assuredness has grown and I feel more secure in my relationship. Edwina is a brilliant facilitator who ensures everyone's emotional safety and who is also able to get to the heart of the issue. I urge everyone to do this work. I'll be back for sure".
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David
Blended families
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Blended families often carry complex dynamics around order and belonging. Tension can arise when previous partners or children from earlier relationships are not acknowledged.
Constellations support clarity around who came first and help restore respectful order. This allows children to feel safe and partners to find their rightful place in the new family system.
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Couple sessions:
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Couples Constellation sessions are designed to work with the deeper layers of a relationship dynamic. They are often experienced as a powerful intervention that brings clarity, insight and movement where couples feel stuck.
These sessions are typically offered as focused, in-depth work rather than ongoing therapy.
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Couple's Constellation sessions
460 Australian dollars
440 Australian dollars
Looking for ongoing couples support?
Couples Constellations are best understood as a catalytic process that helps reveal and shift hidden dynamics within a relationship. For couples seeking ongoing support to build communication skills, strengthen emotional safety, and work more deeply with relationship patterns using research-informed approaches, you are invited to continue this work through our sister practice, Beyond Talk Therapy.
Beyond Talk Therapy. offers regular one-hour sessions using evidence-based and relational methods such as Gottman Method, attachment-based therapy and systemic counselling.
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Explore onling couples therapy at Beyond Talk Therapy.
If your partner won't do the work then just do yours and book a session for you.
We can't change other people, so don't let that stop you doing the work to change yours and your families life. Book a session for you.